Today's my 1st day of work... tiring is all i can say... having to wake up at 6.45am every morning and leave my hse by 7.45... with my make up on... and hair done... today i didnt do anything to my hair and by evening my hair is in a mess... looks like tml i've got to do sth to my hair so tat it looks better... hehe...

say kheng gave us training... wow... there's so much promotions!!! how to rmb all those... and i sat in at zacc's place... so funny... he's so nervous tat he keep typing the wrong keys... tink he's so stressed with me ard...

wai lei's leaving and he says i can sit on his place after he left... which is after sat... and im gg to sit beside jovis... and behind uncle law and martin... all experts for me to ask as much qns as i like... yeah!!!

anyway i'll be the onli one left in msd... jun's gg to help way ming do correspondence... sob sob!!!

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yuppie!!! My exams are finalli over already!!! im so happi... already planned what to do over the weekends... gg to watch vcd and go lib to borrow story bks... gg to do facial tml... coz my face got stressed with me while im having exams... so i muz bring it to destress... and to distress myself... thou' facial is a very painful thing but after tat i'll feel more relax having someone to wash my face and the relax music... shd be able to distress... and mummy's fren recommend me this beauty salon at bedok... gg to give it a try... dun wanna go back to Tiffafine coz its too far... lazy to travel there... try this out 1st den see how...

gg to watch harry porter this sun with dear.. and den go IT fair at expo... heard tat harry porter is not a very gd show... but im still gg to watch it... not gg to judge it until i've seen it myself!!! hehe...

i forgot to bring my hp out today... so im basically "handicapped"... initially... i feel like part of me is not with me... and im gg to meet dear for dinner... omg... how am i gg to meet him when i dun have my phone... but i learned tat there's this thing call "public phone"... and i didnt realise tat sg got soooo many public phones ard until today... coz i always bring my phone ard... so i dun even bother abt public phones... until today... i realise the importance of public phone... not too late i hope... hehe...

time to clean up my rm... its in a big mess!!!

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Tml is the last paper... finalli... been waiting for this day since long long ago!!! and im starting work on mon... coz i realli cant laze ard like most of my frenz... i hate to laze ard... having nth to do...

i tink nov is the worst mth of the yr to me... im like a cry baby crying & crying... sometimes i just feel like crying w/o any reason & sometimes i'll tink of things tat makes me sad...

had a tok with dear last nite... and i finalli said all the things tats been suppressing me for quite some time... i seriously tink he needs to change his job for the better but his family always tell him not to... and whatever i said is all rubbish becoz after i've said so much... nth will be done eventually becoz everything tat he do have to be answerable to his family... and im afterall... not part of the family... im just an outsider who like to interfere his life... giving him suggestions tat always seems unatttainable... but the prob is... if u nv try... how do u noe u cant do it??? if u nv try to look for other jobs... how do u noe u cant find another job? im not asking him to quit his job now... look for other jobs and den quit when he found one... if u already knew tat there's no prospect in this company... why shd u even stay there... everyone yearns for better pay and well prospect job... why shd u stuck in a company with no prospect and with low pay??? but whatever i say is all rubbish becoz if his family says he cant change means he cant change... but i tink he's old enuff to make his own decisions... i have confident in him tat he's able to find a better job... have some confident in urself, my dear...

for me... ive been making my own decisions since i was 12... i chose my own sec sch, JC, Uni and the courses tat i want to take... my parents nv interfere becoz they believe i noe what im doing... they believe tat its me, myself tat noes what im gd in... what i realli wan... eventualli its my own life... nobody noes best what i realli wan except myself... u noe urself best!!!

and of coz after i said... i was so agitated tat i cried...

and i tot of my parents sending me to uni... becoz like what i always tot... my parents will definitely send me to uni... and they'll pay for my expenses... my uni fees etc... but this is not the case... i realise tat i shd realli depend on myself after i overhead my parent's conversation... there's no one for me to rely on... ive just got to work things out myself... my heart realli sank... heard my mum telling my dad tat she's not so stupid to pay for my uni fees which cost $20 over thousand... and after i grad,,, get married etc,,, i wont repay the money to them... even my dearest parents are not willing to provide for my uni fees... and im their child... tats when i decided tat ive got to depend on myself... i'll take the bank loan and pay back the loan myself when i grad... tats the onli alternative i have at tat time...

i'll have to work over holz... be in a mth or two... i noe my classmates always enjoy their holz... gg overseas etc... but for me... becoz the pocket money tat my parents gave me is just so minimal... ive just got to work & save up during the holz... and use them as pocket money when i returned to sch...

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My ideal hp casing... but its USD 24.50...  

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Ive been watching TV the whole day ever since morn when i wake up... no mood to study... cant seem to put all the thermo derivations into my mind... argh!!! what the hell are all these formulas for??? why shd i study all these derivations??? its soo soo soo hard!!!

dear's at the wake all day... im gg to the wake later... actualli i got some forbia for gg to wakes... maybe coz since young... mummy dun realli allow me to go for wakes... haha... 20 yrs old and ive onli went for one wake... which is shi han's mum's wake... normalli i'll just pass the bai jin to whoever is gg... but i noe ive got to go coz its a kind of respect...

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Everyone has to face death one day... including myself... has anyone tink of what will happen to u when u die? will ur spirit realli leave ur body and float ard... waiting for someone from the other world to bring away? will u come back as a moth to visit ur family members?

whenever i see a big moth in my hse... i'll hope tat its granny... thou' it may not be her... maybe its just someone else tat happen to fly into my hse? or its realli JUST a MOTH... but nonetheless... i'll assume tat its granny who came to visit me... thou' she's passes away for 7 yrs already... but i'll always rmb her... everything of her... but didnt ppl always say there's reincarnation? and the spirit will recarnate to be a human again? but how long after they've passed away tat they will recarnate? what abt our ancestors like great grandparents who have passes away like 20-30 yrs ago or even more? why are ppl still paying respect to them when there's a possibilities tat they may have been reincarnated? will they realli receive whatever tat we've burn for them?

dear's grandma just passed away not long ago... but there's nth much i can do or help... i duno how to console him... the onli thing i can do is just stay by his side... tink he shd be fine...

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Im starting to count down... but this time round is not to the no. of days for exams but no. of days to the last paper... which is 25th nov... yeah!!! im so happy... had maths paper yesterday and den 6 more days to the next paper and 8 more days to the last paper... ooo... so excited...

found a job... gg back to UOB to pick calls... but still duno pick what calls... hopefully its not main line... haha... but i tink its kinda hard... hehe... starting work on 28th nov... means onli 2 days of break and den work starts... sian but this holz onli has 1 mth... i cant afford to give myself somemore break... anyway still got weekends... so its okay!!!

meet dear for dinner last nite at novena... coz dear went to visit his grandma in TTSH... and i waited in California Cafe for him... ordered a glass of latte and read my magazine for abt 2.5 hrs... i realli can read sia... went to my fav noodle shop "Big Bowl" for dinner... ate my fav dumpling noodles and we ordered a hot plate tofu... its realli gd!!! one of the best tofu i've eaten so far... very soft and smooth... its heavenly... didnt noe the shop closes at 11pm... initialli tot tat maybe they've closed already... coz mi & my colleagues always go in the noon for lunch...

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dear's cousin got stabbed by a robber this morn near tampines lib... didnt noe daylight robbery is so common nowadays... aiyoz... its sooo near me... so scary... and someone sent him to the hospital... but seems to be okay... maybe not tat jialat... and dear's grandma is in hospital... coz she cant seem to be able to open her eyes for the past 2 days...

life's so vulnerable... so must learn to treasure what u have now!!!

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slept for 3 hrs last nite... coz i cant finish my studying... not much mood to study for chem... and i completely dun understand surfactant and cant get the facts into my head... i also duno why~~~ but last nite was a terrible night coz i seem to be racing against time...

lucky the paper was quite okay but as usual... a bit careless here and there... and i finished the paper 20min before the end of the paper... the hall is damn cold so i came out to wait for jun... brian came out after me... and i tink he's damn lucky coz he onli studies surfactant in the morn and he managed to do the 1st qn... peifu peifu... i studied the whole day but still duno how to do... sob!!! maybe i keep tinking tat the theory will come out but this time round is the calculations... hope to get at least a B or A will be best!!!

had bbq steamboat at home yesterday... kor's fren came over and there are 6 of us including dear... so its a bit squeezy... so got dear to bring his set over... den we'll have 2 of the hotplate... yummy yummy... i realli tink my mum's food is nicer than eating outside... she realli make a better cook now as compared to last time... haha... i used to not eat her food coz it taste awful...

kor went to tatoo his leg... a dragon tat all his frenz say its too small but i tink its damn big... and mum nv say anything much... tribal kind... quite nice... but i tink i'll nv change my mind tat i will nv tatoo... but i may go n make a fake one... hee...

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kor's dragon!!! 

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im getting pressurized... am i pressurizing myself? or is it tat everyone is giving me pressure... dear always tell me to study hard and ans smart... everyone tells me tat too... tat i have to get my degree and 1st class honors... get a well paid job so tat i dun have to suffer... paper qualification is sooooooooo impt... is it realli tat impt? can i realli get a well paid job when i grad??? who can guarantee tat??? and who says no qualification cannot get well paying job... who the hell says tat??? argh!!! why am i complaining??? what am i complaining abt???

just quarrelled with dear coz he always use work as an excuse to say he's very tired... and i must study hard to get my 1st class honors... den can get a well-paying job... but can i realli get my 1st class in the 1st place??? im losing confident in myself... after 3 papers... i cant say tat i didnt study hard enuff but the amt of qn tat i can do is just not up to my expectation to get my 1st class... i studied till 3am in the nite... woke up at 8.30am to revise... spent 2 hrs travelling to sch... and cracked my brain for 2.5hrs while i was in the exam hall... waited for 45 min at the bus stop for the bus and spent another 2hrs standing from boonlay to tampines... argh... who can understand how i feel??? am i not tired??? i dun have energy now to study... and my paper is on mon... argh... arent i pressurized??? is study realli as easy as what adults tink??? he can slp early... go for dinner after work... and den KTV... is working realli tat hard? given a choice... i will rather work... at least after work... i still can relax... studying needs to plan a lot of things... needs to plan time... and what to do 1st... shd i study for this subject 1st or tat subject... u tink its realli tat easy to get 1st class??? scoring A for most subjects when i dun even have confident of getting a C even a B... to a lot of ppl... as long as can pass can already... why must i keep aiming for high grades... why are human beings always not satisfied???

im crying now which i dun even noe why... i just feel like crying...

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finali finish materials structure and characterization of materials... yeah... but im a bit sad... coz material structure is quite an easy paper... maybe i haven studied enuff... and makes careless mistakes... sob!!! hai~

im so tired today... dun feel like doing anything... thou' i still have chemistry paper on mon morn... tink i'll slp early today n wake up early tml... slept for 6 hrs last nite... yawn... haven been so tired for long...

duno why i even bother to blog... coz life's so dull... nth happening these few days except to wake up... eat... study... watch tv... listen to fm93.3... den slp again... been doing this for wks... when can i escape from these routine...

have planned to start working as soon as i finish exams... earn as much $$ as possible... coz my savings running out soon... hai~... must start saving for more... planned to give tution as well... but its quite a tiring thing... but must earn some pocket money for next sem... and next yr's june-aug break... i may not be able to work... coz have to take inter-sem modules so tat it wont be so tedious for me when sch starts in yr 3 & 4...

there are 2 kinds of thinking to this isuue... to relax 1st and then work hard in the future... another is to work hard and relax while u are old... for me... i, of coz hope tat i can relax 1st and work hard in the future... coz once i realli enter the working life... i may not be able to enjoy... and to do whatever i wan... but if i work hard now... i will have a lot of $$ in the furure for me to enjoy... but i tink the best is to work hard and relax at the same time... tats what i call... LIFE!!!

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at last finish business finance... yeah... wasn't too hard... but some careless mistakes here and there and some theory part tat Ive forgotten... but tink i can scrap thru'... hee... meet dear to go bicycle shop to change my paddle and bicycle seat... the other time bought the wrong size... so went back to exchange...

went to watch Tom-Yum Goong... the show is damn nice... must watch!!! my idol now is Tony Jaa... haha... he's so muscular... dear must jia you to train until like him... haha... so cool!!!

bought x'mas present for dear... its a adidas sunglass... sooooo ex but its nice... and the lenses can be changed... and hopefully dear can use it for maybe 3-5 yrs??? haha... is it really tat durable??? it looks durable la... and i bought myself a pair of sunglass as well... but mine is the cheapo kind... anyway i only wear it for fashion... so i dun realli care for the brand... as long as its nice... and with my tat kind of price per pair... dear's sunglass can let me buy abt 12 pairs... anyway i always lose things... so no pt buying so gd one... hee... anyway dear's sunglass are with me coz im onli gg to give it to him when x'mas comes... happy waiting dear!!! x'mas is coming...

changed my hp as well... traded in my S700i for W550i... top up with $98 with a 2 yrs plan.... orange color but the casing can be changed... there's a complimentary white one... looks cool... and its like a mp3 phone... with special earpiece... music is nicer too... love it lots!!!

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dear's & mine sunglasses... 

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Deepavali is in a few hrs time... and im still mugging... coz bus finance paper is on wed... hai~~~ no PH for me... but pity those Indians... coz cant enjoy Deepavali...

went to Geylang Serai on fri nite... its my 1st time gg to geylang serai... i admit tat im a bit racist... so nv tot of gg there before actualli... n i always have the impression tat onli malays went there... but when i went there... saw quite a few chinese... and the malays there are quite friendly... the vendors etc... maybe i shd change my racist mindset... haha... dear bought Hugo Boss Intense for me for 10 bucks... and limited edition CK one for 10 bucks too... its not imitation... just tat the design of the bottle is a bit defective... tats why they are selling at such a low price... gd buy!!! and dear bought me a "diamond" ring... thanx dear... love ya lots lots...

meet dear for dinner on sat... after his RT... been eyeing this puma jacket for quite sometime... its black color... with white strips... but cost 70 plus... so everytime i pass by royal sporting hse... i'll just go into the shop to steal a look at my ideal jacket... dear says he'll buy for me for x'mas present... but i can only choose btw W550i or the jacket... sob!!! which one is better? im still tinking... shd i change my hp??? but its still usable... but W550i is cool...

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