Pink Garden

Monday, June 14, 2010

I guess I should start blogging again… because I still find that this is the best way for me to voice out my happiness/unhappiness…

I have a lot of doubts… I do know that ppl do change… for the better, for the worse… somehow, I feel that he changed too… but one thing he probably nv change, is his love for me…

Maybe when 2 people get together, after sometime… everything that was once… “OK OK, yes dear” becomes “No, dun wan… see how… dun feel like doing this”. I’m getting more and more worried… and sometimes I dun even dare to mention it.., because I am not sure if he really, does MIND…

Like going for dinner…
Last time: Let’s go for dinner with my parents? He will say “OK, I dun mind”
Now: Let’s go for dinner with my parents? He will say “See how first”
Even picking them up and running errands seem very troublesome… Sigh… I think its really good to just depend on myself… Afterall, its my family…

Suddenly, I feel very depressed recently… Are these signs of depression?

I feel that I really contribute very little to my family. I only gave them $100-$150 per month, and used up the bulk of my pay for facial, manicure, pedicure, restaurants, shopping… even thou my pay has increased, I still feel that I am short of $$... Sometimes, I feel like bringing them out for dinner but I have to worry if dear minds…

Been worried about Mummy’s health… she quit her job coz she feels giddy, weak, hungry… probably due to gastric prob… excess stomach acid… asked her to see specialist, but she kept on visiting the TCM… and medicine dun seem ti work… whenever someone says where n where, which doc is gd, she will go… took her 2 months plus to agreed to see the western doc… and then another 2 mths to see the specialist (got to queue)… doc recommend to do a scope but she rejected. So doc gave her the medicine to try out and if still no signs of recovery, then go for the scope… after few days, she complained that the doc is not good. Medicine is not working. Suggest to go for a scope, but she dun wan to go back to CGH… I find out more from Joslyn who is working in Raffles Hospital, and when Joslyn wanna helped her to make appointment, she say wait… then she continue to visit the TCM… now… I really duno what she wants now… I feel very tired, having to juggle work, r/s, and family…

Even the Penang trip that I am looking forward to, I have not done any research… and have not even booked the hotels… damn exhausted and depressed…

There are lots of things that I wanna do, but right now, I just go home after work, play game or watch show, and sleep… I used to be very smart (as in not clever), but I just do whatever I feel like doing, go wherever I wan to go… but right now, there are a lot of things that I must consider… family, dear, work, money…

Lots of uncertainties… but I’m trying not to think abt everything… I just want to rest and sleep…

- Feed her Sugar....# ;

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I've been kinda excited, or prob overly excited over the wedding... but seems like I'm the only one who is excited... been doing research on venues for solemnization, wedding banquets, bridal shops, photoshoots, etc... but its always I myself that is doing it... it feels like its just my wedding...

kinda disappointed and start to tink if the wedding will still carry on as what we have planned... maybe I think too much, but I'm the kind who likes to do lots of planning... for the present, for the future... seeing tat some of my frenz are busy preparing, and happily preparing for their weddings... how come my feelings are opposite from theirs???

visited the taiwan bridal fair yesterday... and I saw the photos are kinda similar to Koon kiat's wedding shots... decided to find out more and the prices are very attractive... $2880, after discount is $2500, and the photos are very pretty... but we're worried that its a scam... after doing some research on the singaporebrides forum, some ppl did signed up and went for their photoshoots... koon kiat's was taken at romantic life, but some ppl commented tat their photographers r freelance one... so not all come out to be v nice...

the one that we saw at Bugis is Mikan photo studio... the photographer was there too... those interested can view the website: http://www.shotdogs.com.tw/website/tiltviewer/index.html

I can say that the scenery are very different, and it gives the "dreamy" effect...

still got a few taiwan bridal shop that ppl recommended... like ivy bridal... www.ivy.bride.com
and Asia Pacific Exquisite... www.apiwi.com

After seeing the websites, feel that Asia Pacific Exquisite has very nice pic...

Initially we wanted to take our pic at JB, but now, I am very tempted to go taiwan to take our photoshoot, and to tour taiwan...

maybe I just put the whole thing aside 1st... haven been wanting to think abt it yet... even solemnization, I have narrowed down to a few places, but I've also put the whole thing on hold... very tiring to do it all by yourself...

just quarrelled with him last wk... and I dun really feel like going his place liao... it makes me feel v sad, although he might not mean it... or he's in a spite of anger... whatever it is, those harsh words keep repeating in my mind since that day... I did not utter a word all along and kept mum for the whole afternoon... forcing myself to slp and not to drop a tear... but then its realli damn unbearable... whats wrong with my attitude??? I DID NOT SHOW ANY ATTITUDE!!! even if I did, yours aren't any better... why is it always my fault??? I guess I feel more comfortable at my home... What's the future gonna be like???

- Feed her Sugar....# ;