nice effect!!! 

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the new watch~~~ (after) 

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the new watch~~~ (before) 

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yeah... finalli narrow down to one paper... and its on next thu~ so happy... can go n enjoy k... cant wait for 12pm to strike while i was in the exam hall yesterday... hehe...

went shopping with jun n hwee ying... coz JP got 11th b'day anniversary... so everywhere's discount... but dun realli have very nice things to shop... but still... i spent $300 in just a 2 hrs... i guess its tat i haven been shopping for very long... so all i wanna do is spend money...

went back to city chain to look at the watch again... still on 50% dis but its still not very nice... there's sth tat wing pointed out to me on mon abt the watch tat i dun like also... anyway hwee ying keeps reminding me tat its for someone who is moving to his thirties le... muz buy sth more classy... so adidas is out... thou' the one tat i spotted is realli nice... quite sporty... but since he already has an adidas watch... a titus one will be gd... coz higher end also... realli duno why i like to buy watch so eagerly... thou' i still have 2 mths time b4 i fly off to china to look ard... but i juz feel like buying... izzit becoz of the discount again??? i always cant seems to escape from sales... whenever there's sales... i juz feel like spending money... n since its within my budget after the discount... can save up to $60... sounds like gd buy... actualli its onli 10% off for 1st pc and 20% off for 2nd pc... but the salesperson is willing to give me 20% off... so its like... why not??? but after dis still ex la...

sometimes i realli wonder if he will appreciate it... i realli duno~ *stop tinking***

made a new specs also... pink and green color... looks cool~ wanted to wear those plastic frame one... but all dun look gd on mi... tink i onli suits those metal frame one... but there's quite a lot of new designs nowadays... looks like i have to buy new specs every yr... but i realli dun like the old one... thou' i used to like it a lot... but still i wont wear it out... looks toot... hehe... hope tat after i get this... i will wear it out la... thou i always say i will when i was buying it... hehe... but sometimes i realli dun feel like wearing contacts... makes my eyes tired... esp when its very dry...

went aljunied for supper with wei siong... den go geylang buy pao... saw so many prostitutes... n omg... got uncle wanna approach me... he call me "xiao jie" from his car... den i ignore him n walk away... argh... nv see behind me got a guy meh... n im wearing 3/4 n jacket... do i look like im one of them? those standing ard the car parrks all wear until so skimpy... bare back... mini skirts... heels... n mi??? im wearing slippers... no make up... nth at all...

nth much to do today... slack n slack... decided to play ard with the photos and do some editing... dun wanna study... sianz...

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another one... looks like old pics... trying to commemorate the past... 

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me and wing at playground... 

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met up with wing juz now... to take the window XP recovery disc from him... coz zacc needs it... n i juz happen to ask wing... n he has it... yeah... meet him at simei... n he's nice enuff to accompany me to tm... to look at the watch again... on 2nd look, feels tat the watch is actualli no very fantasic... wing says so too... saw another one... looks more cool... n cheaper... but duno if its on discount as well... muz go JP n see see on wed...

cant wait for wed... wanna go watch" ice age2"... n "take the lead"... maybe gg to watch with jun on wed after paper~ yeah...

wing pei me go hm juz now... he's always so gentleman... but got motive one... its to take my cam... so tat we can take our "da tou tie"... the last time tat we realli took... i tink its JC time... tink got one more after JC... but still rmb my hse playground... n him wearing his srjc uniform... n mi in tpjc uniform... will nv forget it... haha... its like... so many yrs back le... 3-4 yrs ago~ but the pic cant show to denise... if not she will get jealous... gals are all sensitive creatures... hehe~

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went chalet with sis n her bf... n some of their frenz... feel out of place initialli... coz all are uncles n aunties... onli person who can click with me is the 16 yr old gal... one of the auntie's daughter... beginning to feel old coz there seems to be some generation gap... looking at her juz reminds me of my 16 yr old days... rebellious... juz like her...

zacc called me in the noon... n he say he'll come over to accompany me at nite after he attended his wedding dinner... which ends at 9.30pm... so i waited till 10.30pm... n he still haven called me... so i rang him... but he nv ans the phone... phone drop into toilet bowl??? my fav phrase when someone dun ans my call... haha... but it dropped into the bowl for far too long... i called almost every hr, all the way till 3.30am... why am i doing this??? i duno where the hell is he... n wat the hell he's doing... n nv even reply my sms... drunk at the dinner??? he went coffee with some collegues after the dinner... gd job... im speechless... all he could say is sorry... n im angry... shd at least have some responsibility, or basic courtesy to tell me tat he's not coming... is a phone call realli tat hard? or juz an sms??? soooooooo busy???

he called me back at 3.35am... n he said he'll come down now... so he came at 4.45am... duno why he came... n mi??? also duno wat to do when he came... coz there's no place for him to slp... n i noe he's tired... chit chatted for a while... n asked him if he's worried tat i'll leave him... he says "yes", but he also said tat its part & parcel of life...

im sure many ppl have experienced ppl leaving them... not say dying... but how many of us have told frenz in pri sch tat "we'll be frenz forever"??? in sec n JC/poly? in uni? or in working life? always say keep in contact but we still dun? so frenz come n go... its juz part n parcel of life...

begin to feel tat there's not much meaning in life... but still... lifestill goes on... sad case rite?

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guess wat is this??? no... not food... not toy...its the place for Rasputin to relieve itself... soooo clever... 

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food... but not for me... 

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Rasputin... cute... 

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im realli confused... by all the advantages & disadvantages of forging, casting, cutting, drilling, milling etc... head gets bigger as i read... but nonetheless, i manage to scarp thru the paper... finish it in 1.5 hrs... n shopped ard JP while waiting for jun... the guy beside me actualli finish in less than an hr... n joreen's fren's bf sits beiside... keep slamming the table... if u duno how to do den juz go la... slam table ans also wont kena slammed out one... hehe...

sales everywhere... went to see watch... wanna to get an adidas watch... but the sales person recommended me a titus watch... $369 but got 50% off... but its onli apr... n i'll be gone in jul... will it be out of fashion soon??? but tink abt it... watch got fashion one meh? watch is just watch lor... for keeping track of time... but $200 on adidas is realli not very worth it... according to the salesperson, chronograph watch always has very high value. so $200 for titus watch is consider a gd buy... but still, i may not get it la... still got sg sale mah... in june... shall wait till then... hehe...
wanted to buy jigsaw also... saw a very nice one from the jigsaw shop... it consists of all the fairy tales... small small ones... very very cute... tinking of getting it for zacc b4 i fly off to china... i seems to have so much thing to buy... n ive also tot of wat i wan from him for my b'day...

spoken to zacc last nite... n somehow i feel tat i've made the right choice at tat time... thou' i did have some regrets after that... but i realise tat im... afterall nth compared to her... he's willing to let her go, thou' he still cant bear to... she haven put him down, n he also haven put her down... den why is he willing to put her down, thou' he can't??? reason is tat he dun trust her... is trust reali tat impt? or cant love overide trust??? i tink its realli hard to say... a r/s without trust is veru hard to survive...

someone asked me... what if there's realli a very nice guy standing in front of me... will i still reject him? am i scared to lose this opportunity? i used to be scared, tats why i've walked all the wrong routes... now coming to sense, i always rushed into things... so this time round, im gg to stand very firm... n if this guy realli loves me, he'll wait for me. if he's not willing to wait, den means he's not worthy of my love... so wat m i waiting for??? i keep telling ppl ard me tat i wanna stay single... for this whole yr till i come back from china... but somehow i feel tat im waiting for this someone... but how long am i gg to wait??? its so near yet so far... m i willing to wait forever? or m i considered as mission accomplished when he has found his happiness... he asked me why m i nv angry with him no matter how he mentioned her in front of him? but who am i to him? in wat position can i be angry with him? why does his things bothers me so much? i used to feel like a mistress... like he has a wife... n im the mistress... wans everything my way, n i feel like i win her in everyway... but she's changed... into his so call "wonderful" gal... juz tat she changed too late... den i will begin to wonder... is she even more "wonderful" than me? i dun wish to compare myself to someone whom i've nv even consider to be my rival... all along i've been contented with my "mistress" life... but now she's no longer ard... but still... i feel like a "mistress"... maybe being a nobody for so long, i juz cant seem to turn into the so call "somebody" to him...

am i gg to continue waiting??? how long am i gg to lead this kinda life??? or shd i consider giving someone else a chance??? im tired~... i realli cant imagine mi not by his side for so long... wat will happen when i come back???

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still got 4 more paper to go... but glad tat its well spreaded out... unlike some of my frenz who have 2 papers a day, or 2 papers consecutively... lucky me...

didnt do much today... to tired to do anything... slp n slp... gg to become pig soon... i actualli took a nap from 3-5pm... wow~ and i woke up at 12pm... nv slp so much b4 except recently... does tat means tat the more brain cell i burn, the more i need to slp... was teaching tuition yesterday and i kept yawning... bad tutor... hee...

didnt feel like gg home n den come out for tuition again... so went over to jinli's place to play his Chincilla... its call Rasputin... weird name la... but its the breeder who gave it the name... so he respect the breeder... maybe gg to buy a female one to breed... den can have baby Chincilla... hehe... so cute.... i wanna have one too... but too bad.. im gg to China... if not can ask him to breed one for me... shd be FOC i hope... yeah~

n he told me abt recessive genes... tat his is velvet & the female is violet... n violet has recessive genes so its kinda hard to have a baby Chin with fully violet... shd be a mixture of velvet n violet... n violet looks better... thou' its not consider higher quality... but its color is lighter... n so its rare... n so tat explains why velvet is so cheap n violet is more ex... but velvet cost abt $300 also... so Not very cheap also la... but the price of Chincilla can go up to $600-$800... or even more... depending on the breed...

and jinli's bro is sooooo cute... he gave me 4d No. to buy k??? 8908... duno will strike a not... but he seems to like 8 very much... coz he gave 3808 and 4899... maybe he onli noe 8 n 9... haha... n he even told me to buy $1 small.. such a cute kid... and he actualli dance n sing for me... shake his butt n jinli say he "hiao"... how can he resist my charm... see me of coz muz preform sth for me mah... we brought him home since i've got to gif tuition... and im impressed tat i can hear wat he sing... he sang "xiao wei" n "tong hua"... n dance SHE's "bo si mao"... n he can sing fei yu qing & feng fei fei's song... thou' i cant fig out wat he is singing la... fei yu qing n feng fei fei is not my generation one... duno hwo come he noes also... maybe its gd to be like him... everyday also very happy one... forever a kid... except dun get bully can le...

but jinli told me a thing... tat ppl with down syndrome will not survive for very long... duno why also but makes sense la... have anyone seen old down syndrome ppl??? according to him, the mean age tat they can survive until is abt 15yrs old... its gonna be sad for everyone if tats the case... so muz learn to treasure those ard u... i tink jinli's realli gd to his bro... n can see tat his bro loves him a lot also... hai~

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i shd be mugging... but i tink im getting lazier sem after sem... thou' sem after sem i keep telling myself tat i will be more hardworking the next sem... but its gg the opp way... why??? i seem to be losing focus... n slping n watching tv has become my fav... argh... why is zhou gong always looking for me to play mahjiong??? n why does mediacorp have so many shows showing on tv??? thou' not all the prog are nice, but my tv is on the whole day... how??? and right now, im struggling to figure out the last few chaps of mechanics... coz i nv went for the tutorial... so i duno wat the hell its toking abt... n how did the lecturer get all those ans??? omg!!! headache!!!

juz had my management paper last wed... n everything is in my own words... i do noe how to crap... one qn one whole page of words... but i juz write whatever tat comes to my mind tat makes sense... diff from the text... hehe... n those tat i memorise, i couldnt realli rmb the real thing... juz some words here n there n chain into my own sentence... n i keep stopping to look at ppl ard me... they seems to have a lot to write... juz like me... but are their ans as crap as mine??? STRESSED??? i dun realli feel so leh...

maybe juz like wat dennis says... after so many exams... "lao3 jiao4" already... we're all so used to exams le... tat now i dun realli have the sense of urgency... n monday's my paper... still can relac relac a bit...

sorta invited some frenz to my b'day party le... response is quite positive... yeah... gg to continue to mug liao... sob!!!

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wing's hair... COOL!!! 

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@ jinwei's 21st b'day... 

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No height difference??? coz i tiptoed... 

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went to jinwei's 21st b'day party last nite... a lot of ppl... tink she invited a lot of relatives... n her poly frenz... n the few of us from sec sch... bought her a pink wallet... juan choose one... so i also duno how it looks like... but shd be nice... trust her!!!

jinwei's soooo pretty.... looks like wedding/ engagement party rather than 21st... still got guest book... new idea... but im not gg to copy tat idea... hehe... wat shd i do on my b'day??? *headache***

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i realise its damn easy to psycho me to buy things... to spend $$... argh... bought 2 pairs of shoes on sat... went shopping with my cousin... n i spotted this pair of heels... white ones... quite nice... n its quite cheap... so i decided to buy it... n there's a 10% dis for both if i buy another pair... so i decided to get one more... for a 10% discount... n i bought 2 pairs of shoes... becoz of $5 dic i spent $50... izzit realli worth it??? i also duno... but the 2 pairs of shoes are quite pretty la... n i did ponder over it for quite sometime... n my cousin also decided to get a pair for herself... n the salesgal in the shop, of coz say nice la... n i wear n perform some catwalk... it realli looks gd... so... wat to do... shopping are women's fav... but can also kill women's wallet... but ive already got so many pairs of shoes... but den i tink... since so many, 2 more wont kill la... haha... irresistable... so i bought it... n i did some reflection... tink most of the time, i buy things becoz of dis... but do i relli need the thing??? sad to say... not realli la... but im a gal... n most gal do this la... so im consider as normal??? maybe im juz a bit easier to psycho than other gals la... maybe normal gals needs 20 min to consider, i onli need 5-10 min... anyway i dun like to waste time... im always quite decisive when it comes to shopping... so i cant realli stand those who cant make up their mind... (not pin pointing at anyone hor!!!) but i always try to be patient la... anyway shopping is a gd form of relaxation (at least to me)... i love shopping!!! but i hate to spend money... if i have money to spend, i dun mind spending... but im getting broker... help~~~ anyone have any part time job... muz tell me k???

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meet zacc to buy his full face helmet on sun... meet him at little india coz i came from boon keng... had lunch with my family there... n i feel so funny standing at little india... those indians keep staring at me n still got ppl horn at me... so scary... feel out of place... those i seem like the whitest there (thou' im already quite dark)... even zacc says i look malay... argh!!!

found a very cool helmet... but it cost $190... n quite big... n OGK one cost $200 over... why are full-face helmet so ex... but im prepared la... but i tink he tinks tat its too ex... decided to go back to the one we went to previously... but its closed... sob sob... hai~ sad sad... went back to the same shop twice... n still decided not to buy the OGK one... why helmets also got so many brands one... but i still like the very cool one... got a woman's shadow at the back... if i were to wear it, shd be quite cool!!! still got some designs on it...

so in the end... we didnt buy anything coz we cant decide which one to buy... guess he's gg back to the balestier one... coz its cheaper... n he decided to get it himself... means i shd look for other things to buy for him le... maybe a new wallet is gd... or new jacket... will tink abt it after exams...

we went to the new cathay cineplex to watch "inside man"... maybe i duno how to appreciate this kind of show... show tat has not much storyline... or izzit tat the seats are too comfy... i actualli fell aslp... haha... n i chose to watch the show over "ice age2"... shd have heeded his advice to watch "ice age"... but i can say tat the seats are realli comfy... so cant blame me la... but too bad... the shops arent ready yet, if not i can shop there... maybe will feel less sleepy den...

came across this steamboat restaurant at paradiz centre... they engage singers to sing while ppl are eating... singing is not too bad... had an urge to sit down n eat there too... but its not cheap... 7 dishes for $24++ each person... but nice place to have dinner... very relaxing!!!

had my 1st paper this morn... not tat bad afterall... since i still can crap here n there... but i dun wanna take so theory paper anymore... but sad to say, i still have 2 more super theory paper... help!!! but at least one paper down!!! yeah!!! counting down to my freedom!!! n my b'day cel has been cfm... will be held on 20th may... im turning 21... yeah!!!

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why am i always puzzled these few days??? somehow certain things juz dun seem right... sch??? r/s??? i duno... shd i be happy or sad??? he cried n apologized... n im at a lost... for one moment, all the flashbacks came across my mind... n my tears start rolling down my eyes... i did not blamed him coz all i could blame is myself... i admit tat i've blamed him before, but i soon i realise tat im wrong... im the one who gave him up in the 1st place, how can i blame him for giving up on me? so we call it quits... but still... he asked me a qn... why am i always here when he needed me most? when he's not even there when i needed him most... i cant ans...

but i agree with him... tat there is karma... but karma is not onli for the next generations... its for this generation as well... there is always the cause & effect for everything we do... so he got promoted becoz he did a gd job previously... i got my gd results becoz i studied hard for it (as if)... and im here for him becoz of how well he treated me previously... thou' he did not treat me as well as before, I've stayed by his side coz he used to be so very gd... so morale of the story is... if u treat someone gd, he/she will do the same to do... haha...

anyway glad tat he finalli showed some appreciation and im kinda touched... i dun wish to have expectation of him coz again, im scared of disappointment... maybe tats juz not one of my goals tat i wanna achieve right now... im happy with wat i have now... after so many incidents... ive learnt to take things easily... if not i would have juz broke down...

but when i say i didnt wanna tink abt it... its soooo not true... pls dun make me tink abt it anymore... its not easy for me to get out of everything & stand independently now... im afraid of having to rely on someone again... i may not have the strength to stand up again...

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sometimes... i realli tink heaven is cruel... someone juz told me tat "when u gain sth, u'll lose sth"... so in the end, u still nv gain... maybe god is always fair... but if i were to know tat i'll lose sth, i may not wan to gain tat thing... but in most times, we dun have much choice...

wing juz told me tat he maybe gg back to HK to study... its a 3 yr degree course for physio, & in sg, its a 3yr dip + 1 yr conversion... of coz as a fren, i'll encourage him to do by the short way out... but wat abt his gf? they juz started... n things r gg so well... are they gg to end like this? or is wing gg to stay in sg? he dun seem to have much thinking... dun mind to be anywhere... hope he chose the right path & dun regret... if i were him, i wouldnt noe which one to choose also...

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helmet tat zacc & me designed tog... but now... guess its badly smashed!!! 

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I begin to believe tat there's no such thing as love anymore... love comes & love fades... so wat can realli stay forever???

juz came to noe abt another break up... a r/s tat has been for quite some time... 3 or 4 yrs? n most ppl look forward to seeing them walking up the red carpet tog... n live happily after... but wat happened? is it the gal's fault or the guy's... whoever initiate the break up is always accused of being the sinner... n of coz he too... feels like a sinner...

but how much youth does a gal has? fancy spending so many yrs of youth on this guy, but in the end there's still no ending... isnt it better to end earlier since both of them noes tat even if they get married, they'll have a lot of probs... most impt thing is character is diff... its not easy to live under one roof... so if u foresee probs now, then i suggest tat its better to end it... as least he didnt wait till they both are prepared to get married, & after given much thought, he still wan to break up... becoz he simply cant imagine both of them living tog under the same roof... n by tat time, the gal is already an old maid... 29, 30 yrs old? she will hate him forever...

does love reali can be compromise with time & effort? i tink its hard to even compromise... go where find time n effort?

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went to visit zacc on mon... coz he had an accident on last tue... dun realli noe wat happen... juz knew tat he rammed into another bike at CTE on the way from... maybe from RT... but anyway he was hospitalized for one day... n he sms me on thu... tinking tat he shd be okay coz he still can sms... n i called him... he broke some teeth... 3 of them... so cant realli make out wat he is saying... u noe ppl always say "lou fong" (leak air)... haha... im so bad... still laugh at him... hehe...

meet him at toa payoh coz he went to remove his stitches... but the doc says the wounds are not heal yet... so cant remove them... but when i saw him, im totalli speechless... he hurt his chin, n scars on his arms, bandages... can imagine tat he lie in hospital n look like a "mummy"... whole palm is being bandaged up... n knees... omg... im realli stunned... n i actualli can feel the pain in me... he juz looked sooooo pain... i wanna cry le... n he can still joke with me... tat i look more sad than him...

accompany him to buy canned soup coz he's sick n tired of swallowing porridge... coz of his teeth n weakened gums, he cant eat... so poor thing... he even have probs gg up n down the stairs... maybe shd get him a wheelchair... but who is gg to push him ard???

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